Minion Mondays 4 : Ode to the annoying neighbour 

Every Indian I know has that one neighbour or distant aunt or uncle, who springs to mind on reading this:

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The reason I stress on my Indian upbringing here is because I have observed that a vast majority of middle aged Indian ladies and gentlemen are well, a little too curious about what’s happening around them. Their ears perk up at the slightest chance of ‘gossip’, they want to be in the know of your every move and they want to make sure you know that they are judging you. 

Example 1: “X’s daughter always comes home late at night, I’m sure she has a boyfriend her parents don’t know about. Maybe we should tell them. You know, boys can’t be trusted these days.”

Example 2: “Didn’t he just write his Engineering exams? Wonder which college he’ll get into, his mother is always bragging about how bright he is.”

Example 3: “Ever since that girl got a job, she has been spending money like nobody’s business. Just the other day they got a big screen TV and today she told me she is going on a holiday with her friends. She must be making a lot of money.” To which the usual response would be along the lines of: “Even if she does, they should really be saving up for her wedding, her parents are letting her splurge unnecessarily, they’ll regret it later.”

It’s not like they really are concerned, it’s just the compulsive need to feel sorry for others,what my friends and I summarise as the “Kids these days..” syndromeI once knew a lady who was obnoxious and loud and boisterous, and doled out her opinions and judgements on people as if she were serving dutifully in a charity soup kitchen. Rapid, purposeful, and in her mind a meaningful service to society. She had the other annoying habit of just landing up at my place unannounced and uninvited, only to pass more judgements about how I’m not really in control of my life and how I need to become her protégé to absolve myself. My usual strategy was to look very uninterested in anything she had to say (came naturally to me) and politely drive her out of my home. I have this compulsive urge to not be rude, even if I dislike the very aura of a person! Which puts me in a tough spot handling such people, but hopefully I have gotten better over time 🙂 

All of these encounters teach us so much and I only hope I remember this when I get to her age. Part of the reason why I write is to read this stuff for myself later in life.

Note to future self: 

If nosy and judgemental: back off, live your own life!

If tolerant and inclusive: good job, I’m proud of what you have turned into 🙂

Minion Mondays 3 : Hey you, look up!

Three weeks into Minion Mondays! Some say, it takes three weeks to make a ‘habit’.. But I’m going to be on the fence and say so far so good! 🙂

This week is a tribute to all of us, yes ALL of us who can no longer remember what it was like to have a regular conversation for a couple of hours without checking their phones!

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Places where the smartphone comes in the way of what you’re really meant to be doing:

On the train.
At the dinner table.
In a meeting.
At the cinema.
Of course, at school or in class.

Being distracted and picking up the phone every few minutes is like flicking the tv remote, except a much, much more powerful one. It’s one of these things we all do knowing fully well that it’s rude. But we’re nice people right, so we apologize for being rude. But we still go ahead and use the phone anyway.

“Sorry I just need to respond to this text…”

“Sorry, give me a minute I need to get this call.” Walks out of meeting.

“Can I put you on hold for a bit, I’m getting another call. Really sorry, be right back”

Is it that our attention spans are too narrow now? Or that we think we can get away with it? Or that we think our friends, colleagues or parents wouldn’t mind? Or is it simply that we do it because everyone does it and it’s a bit of a spiral now? Nobody can really take offence anymore, because one or the other day they’ll be the perpetrators of the act!

I’m guilty of this, everyone I know is guilty of this, and I’m sure most people I don’t know are also guilty of this 🙂

It’s odd that we’re learning to live with not giving each other our undivided attention even for a few minutes. Sometimes we say “it’s from work” to make ourselves feel better about the whole thing. But ultimately it’s about being available to everyone…except to the person you’re supposedly spending time with!

I’m not even sure if I want to fix this about myself. However, I certainly want to be aware of it, and not let it get out of hand (which is very conveniently a subjective assessment).

Minion Mondays 2: It’s not just Mondays

One would think it’s just about Mondays but not really. It’s about not having the option to sit around in your pyjamas, bundled into your couch with a cup of tea. And a nice book in your hand or an awesome show on television.

Source : Facebook page ‘Minion Quotes’

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Don’t get me wrong, I like what I do for a living. But I cannot deny that it would be SO much more fun if it were optional to work, but the money just came in because you know, someone needs to pay those bills. Or if you could send a substitute if you don’t feel up to it. Like cricketers.

Poor Monday has acquired this bad repute for giving people ‘blues’. My blues are a bit like this:

Monday: too far from Saturday

Tuesday: still too far from Saturday

Wednesday: getting closer, not so bad. Especially after lunch, you’re over the hill after lunch.

Thursday: like it! One day to go!

Friday: Too close to Saturday without really being Saturday. But wooohoooooooo no alarm tonight!

Saturday: the best day ever!

Sunday: Early onset of Monday blues

So it’s not Monday that I have a problem with. It’s rules and expectations in general. And this whole grown up thing involving jobs and norms.

Sitting around doing nothing is my favourite type of day :).

Which is why my favourite animal is a cow. For its sheer inertness to anything around it. Anyone who has ever travelled on Indian roads would know exactly what I mean! So I’m a cow sitting in the middle of a busy road. You’re a guy in a big car? Ok you’re honking, why exactly? You want me to move? Nice try bud. You’re the one who wants to pass through, you’ll find a way I’m sure. I’m not going anywhere. See I’m busy chewing something I gulped yesterday.

***comfort zones are too comfortable to come out of***

Minion Mondays

I’ve decided to write one new minion-inspired blog post every Monday. I stumbled upon this unbelievable wealth of minion quotes on Facebook, and I have a number of reactions to that:

1. Minions are a gift to mankind.
2. Oh my God blog ideas avalanche!
3. Awwwww just look at that pudgy thing! xx
4. Minions read my mind, it’s uncanny
5. There should be a minion version of Siri. Apple, are you listening?

Kicking off Minion Mondays then, here’s my first post in this series.

Source: Facebook page ‘Minion Quotes’

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I’m kind of this person, but I know many people who are so much more of this than I am. But don’t we all have that little minion in us who turns into that guy in the picture with the crooked smile.. maybe with our best friend, or sibling, or parents, a colleague?

If I had a choice between annoying my brother and being nice to him, it’s a no brainer. I don’t even need a second to think!

Being nice is a little tedious anyway and not nearly as rewarding as being annoying. Being annoying is relatively low stress (for the annoyer, not the annoyee). Also low investment. And high returns. There’s a bit of risk, say if someone throws something at you in dismay. But then there’s always risk associated with any high return investment :D.

I guess we’ve established that I’m not an angel with a halo and wings. I’m fun 🙂

*****crooked minion smile****